Remembering Ryan's Birth

A year ago today I checked into Brigham and Women’s hospital for a scheduled induction (although Ryan’s birthday isn’t until tomorrow). I can’t believe it’s been that long already. For the sake of posterity, and for my own purposes, I’ve decided to document Ryan’s birth story and the aftermath. Most of you know what happened so feel free to skip this post – it’s going to be a long one… And also a warning: Do not read if pregnant. Avoid at all costs like you would sushi or hottubs.

My due date was November 24th. That day came and went without any fanfare. 10 days later on Monday, December 3rd, I checked into the hospital for a scheduled induction. I was given a Pitocin drip around 9:00 am and labored until about 1:00 pm when I decided that I had enough labor pain experience and requested an epidural. It took two tries to get the epidural in, but once it was there, I was golden. I “labored” for 6 more hours thinking this was not only a piece of cake, but kinda fun! Justin was having a good time watching the readouts of the contraction monitor. My mom was chitchatting with me and patiently waiting for our new bundle of joy to arrive. Everything was good. Partway through this “fun” time, my OB started to notice that my contractions were abnormal. Instead of steadily increasing, they were sporadic. I’d have a bunch of little ones, and then boom, a huge contraction. Her gut was telling her we would end up with a C-section, but every time she checked my cervix, I was progressing, so she said we should keep going.

Around 7:00 pm, as we were watching the Pats game (vs. Baltimore), I flipped on to my left side. I felt a sharp pain in my side, flipped back over, and notified the anesthesiologists. They told me that sometimes there’s a “block” where the epidural won’t work. I was not happy about this, but since baby and I were doing fine, I didn’t see any reason to worry.

At 11:00pm, I was fully dilated and ready to push. I still had the pain in my side, but was managing through it. Justin and my mom each grabbed a leg and as anyone who has ever been through childbirth will tell you, it was more than a little intimate. I tried pushing for about 10 minutes to no avail. I couldn’t feel anything down there due to the epidural, so they turned it down. The problem with this was that the pain in my side grew more and more uncomfortable. I then proceeded to push for 90 minutes through the worst pain of my life. Every time I pushed, that pain in my side got worse. I screamed, cried, and basically thought I was the wimpiest woman that ever existed. After 90 minutes, my OB decided it was time to stop. Baby was just not interested in coming out that way. As much as I just wanted it to be over, I was relieved. The pain was finally going to stop!

We prepped for the C-section and took the obligatory “father-to-be in scrubs” picture. I was rolled into the OR uneventfully. I was pretty nervous and exhausted, and just ready for the whole thing to be over. At 2:48 am (20 hours after checking into the hospital), Ryan was born. They took him over to the scale, and Justin brought him over to me so I could see him and kiss him. Justin left the room with Ryan and we all figured I’d be out 15 minutes later.

Shortly after Justin and Ryan left, my OB asked me where Justin was and I knew something was wrong. There was suddenly a lot of commotion in the room as bags of blood were being brought in. My OB told me that she had never seen anything like this before, but apparently my uterus ruptured during labor. There was a giant T shaped hole in the back of my uterus, she didn’t know if they’d be able to fix it, and I might never have kids again. She asked all the interns to leave and called every Attending OB in the hospital to my OR. There was suddenly A LOT of people in that room. One of the top specialists took over and once I was stabilized, started brainstorming with the other doctors on ways to save my uterus. Brainstorming! I felt like I was in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. These things don’t happen to real people! How can these top notch, best in their field, doctors be brainstorming about my uterus!??!

I laid awake for 4 hours listening to them brainstorm, try different techniques, have those techniques fail, brainstorm some more, and eventually sew me back up. At one point, the lead doctor was yelling to the nurses “get me more clamps, find them anywhere, raid the other ORs!” It was terrifying. I never thought I was going to die, but I did think they were going to give up and give me a hysterectomy. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself how lucky I was that Ryan was healthy, how we could always adopt a second child…but I knew I couldn’t freak out, I had to give them time to fix it.

During the surgery, I had 4 anesthesiologists on my side of the curtain administering drugs to me and keeping me up-to-date on what was going on. One doctor in particular kept patting my head, telling me everything was going to be ok. All I could do was ask her to ask the doctors to please keep trying. I could hear frustration in their voices, and I was afraid they would give up.

Around 6:30 am, they wheeled me back to my L&D room. I had lost a lot of blood and had a total of 4 transfusions, so I guess I didn’t look that great. I was wearing an oxygen mask and had a blanket pumping hot air on top of me. Justin was overcome with emotion when he saw me. As bad as my night had been, I wouldn’t have wished his night on anyone either. The doctors kept him updated throughout my surgery, but at one point, our brilliant lead doctor showed his very bad bedside manner. He came and said to Justin “Mr. Wade, please sit down” and then proceeded to tell him I was fine.

My OB came to talk to us and was pretty gloomy at this point. She said they had found a solution to fix my uterus, but they weren’t sure it was going to hold. They attached drains to me, and we would watch them throughout the day to see if I was bleeding/leaking fluid. If this didn’t work, we would try a laser procedure, and then if that didn’t work, we would remove my uterus. At this point, as bad as I looked, I felt great (probably all those drugs). I wasn’t worried, somehow I knew it was going to work. They assigned me a nurse who didn’t leave my room, and every half hour she checked the drains and my vitals to make sure I was ok. I finally got to see Ryan around 2:00 pm (almost 12 hours after he was born) to start nursing and enjoy my new baby. Around 5:00pm, I was given the thumbs up and moved onto the post-partum floor to recuperate.

My recovery was slower than most due to the blood loss, and we finally left the hospital 1 week after we had arrived. Our story is really a miracle. The doctors think that the reason Ryan wouldn’t come out when I was pushing was because he was using his head to cork the hole in my uterus, saving us both. There’s a 1 in 15,000 chance of a ruptured uterus during labor and in a lot of cases, the baby and sometimes the mother are lost. We are very lucky to be alive and healthy, and I’m very lucky to have kept my uterus. And I’m grateful to the brilliant doctors at Brigham and Women’s for not giving up on my future family.

After I tell my story, most people ask if I can have more kids. The answer is yes, but the doctors want me to wait at least 3 years post Ryan and they will schedule me for a C-section 1 month prior to my due date.