Remembering Ryan's Birth

A year ago today I checked into Brigham and Women’s hospital for a scheduled induction (although Ryan’s birthday isn’t until tomorrow). I can’t believe it’s been that long already. For the sake of posterity, and for my own purposes, I’ve decided to document Ryan’s birth story and the aftermath. Most of you know what happened so feel free to skip this post – it’s going to be a long one… And also a warning: Do not read if pregnant. Avoid at all costs like you would sushi or hottubs.

My due date was November 24th. That day came and went without any fanfare. 10 days later on Monday, December 3rd, I checked into the hospital for a scheduled induction. I was given a Pitocin drip around 9:00 am and labored until about 1:00 pm when I decided that I had enough labor pain experience and requested an epidural. It took two tries to get the epidural in, but once it was there, I was golden. I “labored” for 6 more hours thinking this was not only a piece of cake, but kinda fun! Justin was having a good time watching the readouts of the contraction monitor. My mom was chitchatting with me and patiently waiting for our new bundle of joy to arrive. Everything was good. Partway through this “fun” time, my OB started to notice that my contractions were abnormal. Instead of steadily increasing, they were sporadic. I’d have a bunch of little ones, and then boom, a huge contraction. Her gut was telling her we would end up with a C-section, but every time she checked my cervix, I was progressing, so she said we should keep going.

Around 7:00 pm, as we were watching the Pats game (vs. Baltimore), I flipped on to my left side. I felt a sharp pain in my side, flipped back over, and notified the anesthesiologists. They told me that sometimes there’s a “block” where the epidural won’t work. I was not happy about this, but since baby and I were doing fine, I didn’t see any reason to worry.

At 11:00pm, I was fully dilated and ready to push. I still had the pain in my side, but was managing through it. Justin and my mom each grabbed a leg and as anyone who has ever been through childbirth will tell you, it was more than a little intimate. I tried pushing for about 10 minutes to no avail. I couldn’t feel anything down there due to the epidural, so they turned it down. The problem with this was that the pain in my side grew more and more uncomfortable. I then proceeded to push for 90 minutes through the worst pain of my life. Every time I pushed, that pain in my side got worse. I screamed, cried, and basically thought I was the wimpiest woman that ever existed. After 90 minutes, my OB decided it was time to stop. Baby was just not interested in coming out that way. As much as I just wanted it to be over, I was relieved. The pain was finally going to stop!

We prepped for the C-section and took the obligatory “father-to-be in scrubs” picture. I was rolled into the OR uneventfully. I was pretty nervous and exhausted, and just ready for the whole thing to be over. At 2:48 am (20 hours after checking into the hospital), Ryan was born. They took him over to the scale, and Justin brought him over to me so I could see him and kiss him. Justin left the room with Ryan and we all figured I’d be out 15 minutes later.

Shortly after Justin and Ryan left, my OB asked me where Justin was and I knew something was wrong. There was suddenly a lot of commotion in the room as bags of blood were being brought in. My OB told me that she had never seen anything like this before, but apparently my uterus ruptured during labor. There was a giant T shaped hole in the back of my uterus, she didn’t know if they’d be able to fix it, and I might never have kids again. She asked all the interns to leave and called every Attending OB in the hospital to my OR. There was suddenly A LOT of people in that room. One of the top specialists took over and once I was stabilized, started brainstorming with the other doctors on ways to save my uterus. Brainstorming! I felt like I was in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. These things don’t happen to real people! How can these top notch, best in their field, doctors be brainstorming about my uterus!??!

I laid awake for 4 hours listening to them brainstorm, try different techniques, have those techniques fail, brainstorm some more, and eventually sew me back up. At one point, the lead doctor was yelling to the nurses “get me more clamps, find them anywhere, raid the other ORs!” It was terrifying. I never thought I was going to die, but I did think they were going to give up and give me a hysterectomy. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself how lucky I was that Ryan was healthy, how we could always adopt a second child…but I knew I couldn’t freak out, I had to give them time to fix it.

During the surgery, I had 4 anesthesiologists on my side of the curtain administering drugs to me and keeping me up-to-date on what was going on. One doctor in particular kept patting my head, telling me everything was going to be ok. All I could do was ask her to ask the doctors to please keep trying. I could hear frustration in their voices, and I was afraid they would give up.

Around 6:30 am, they wheeled me back to my L&D room. I had lost a lot of blood and had a total of 4 transfusions, so I guess I didn’t look that great. I was wearing an oxygen mask and had a blanket pumping hot air on top of me. Justin was overcome with emotion when he saw me. As bad as my night had been, I wouldn’t have wished his night on anyone either. The doctors kept him updated throughout my surgery, but at one point, our brilliant lead doctor showed his very bad bedside manner. He came and said to Justin “Mr. Wade, please sit down” and then proceeded to tell him I was fine.

My OB came to talk to us and was pretty gloomy at this point. She said they had found a solution to fix my uterus, but they weren’t sure it was going to hold. They attached drains to me, and we would watch them throughout the day to see if I was bleeding/leaking fluid. If this didn’t work, we would try a laser procedure, and then if that didn’t work, we would remove my uterus. At this point, as bad as I looked, I felt great (probably all those drugs). I wasn’t worried, somehow I knew it was going to work. They assigned me a nurse who didn’t leave my room, and every half hour she checked the drains and my vitals to make sure I was ok. I finally got to see Ryan around 2:00 pm (almost 12 hours after he was born) to start nursing and enjoy my new baby. Around 5:00pm, I was given the thumbs up and moved onto the post-partum floor to recuperate.

My recovery was slower than most due to the blood loss, and we finally left the hospital 1 week after we had arrived. Our story is really a miracle. The doctors think that the reason Ryan wouldn’t come out when I was pushing was because he was using his head to cork the hole in my uterus, saving us both. There’s a 1 in 15,000 chance of a ruptured uterus during labor and in a lot of cases, the baby and sometimes the mother are lost. We are very lucky to be alive and healthy, and I’m very lucky to have kept my uterus. And I’m grateful to the brilliant doctors at Brigham and Women’s for not giving up on my future family.

After I tell my story, most people ask if I can have more kids. The answer is yes, but the doctors want me to wait at least 3 years post Ryan and they will schedule me for a C-section 1 month prior to my due date.

Haircut and Santa

I took Ryan for his first haircut today and his first posed picture with Santa Claus. One of these events was a huge success, the other not so much. Our first stop was Snip-its, a local chain specializing in baby/kiddie haircuts. I opted for the "first haircut package" complete with photo, certificate, and lock of hair. I know, I'm a sucker, but I can't help myself. When we got there, we only had to wait 5 minutes (weekdays are awesome for errands!). During those 5 minutes we noticed all the other kids were crying, squirming, and generally unhappy. I prepared myself for the worst but was pleasantly surprised. Ryan didn't mind at all! He happily sat in the chair and was very still and quiet during his haircut which is completely unlike him. He was staring at the crying kids with a look on his face that said "calm down, it's only a haircut". Anyway, here is a photo of Ryan getting his haircut.

Afterwards, I decided to press my luck and take him to get his photo done with Santa. Yesterday Justin and I stopped by the mall and noticed that Santa was already posing for pictures. It seems a little early, but I figured it'd be a good use of my time off and we could avoid the lines. Sure enough we got to the mall and Santa was looking a little bored and ready to pose. We walked up and Ryan eyed him cautiously. I tried warming him up by having him give Santa high-fives which he did without a problem. The second I sat him on Santa's lap though, he started screaming. Not really a "I want my mommy" cry, but more of "who the hell is this?!?!?" terror wail. It was kinda hilarious although I hope he doesn't have nightmares. We didn't get our happy smiling kid with Santa picture, but we ended up with a much funnier screaming baby with Santa picture. I'm not going to post it here cause I'm thinking about using it as our Christmas card...

My Mama's for Obama!

Heehee! I just couldn't help myself...

P.S. Ryan and his mama will be hanging out this week while she takes some time off in between jobs so you can expect more posts soon.

Family Time

In October, we went to Chicago to visit my family and the meet the newest addition, Aria. We learned during our trip that Ryan is a big fan of dancing and Avani is quite the talker. Click here for pictures from our trip.

Ryan's First Halloween

Ryan had a very busy month. He enjoyed his first Halloween complete with costume parties and trick or treating (well 2 houses anyway). He got over his ear infection just in time to get another cold and another ear infection. The good news is that he likes this medicine better than the previous kind so we don't have to hold his head and torture him like before. It's a small win, but we'll take it. Ryan has about 6 teeth coming in all at once, but is handling it pretty well. He's much whinier than normal, but it hasn't affected his sleep much.

I finally got around to downloading all the pictures we've taken in the past month or so. Click here to view more pics...

Grrr Argh

This picture of Ryan after a spoonful of peas pretty much says it all. We've been incommunicado because Ryan has had a pretty bad month. We've been through brochiolitis, a cold, and a double ear infection. At one point, Ryan's temperature reached 104.7 which I thought was past the point of no return and subsequently caused me to panic, but apparently babies can run temps up to 107. Who knew?

Anyway, Ryan is now thankfully healthy, has finished his course of antiobiotics, and has returned to his normal happy self! He's still cruising around like crazy and can now walk about 5-6 steps without falling. He's not quite walking yet, but he's getting close! I'll post a video soon.

The really cool thing is watching him understand stuff. He waves bye-bye when we ask him to, and doles out kisses to the right parent based on our request. He's becoming a real person!

Due to sickness and laziness on our part, there are not a whole lot of pictures in this album, but for those of you who have been dying for new photos (hi Gi-Gi!), it will have to hold you over until we can get clicking again. Click here for photos from the last couple of months.

Ryan's First Wedding

As promised, here are pictures from Ashley and Jake's wedding. Ryan attended the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and ceremony and as far as we can tell enjoyed himself. One of my sorority sisters was an angel and watched Ryan at our hotel during the reception. While it would have been nice to get him all dressed up and show him off, it was REALLY nice to go out as adults and not parents. We had a great time hanging out with our friends from college and for once not talking about babies.

On Sunday, we went to brunch with a bunch of friends and took Ryan to CMU for the first time. I was really bummed that the store was closed and I couldn't buy all sorts of cute CMU clothes for him, but we had fun showing him the campus anyway. CMU class of 2029?

For pictures of the wedding and our visit to CMU, click here.